Why we should listen to our Imposter

According to the Harvard Business Review (3 January 2022), 70% of us are afflicted by imposter syndrome at some point in our lives - that inner voice that questions our competence and warns us that we’re about to be exposed as a fraud in the very moments when we need confidence and calm.   For many, the imposter is a life-long companion. But here’s the thing: all behavioural patterns serve or once served a helpful purpose, otherwise we would not have learned them.

So rather than fighting, suppressing or trying to silence our imposter, what happens if we listen to it and ask how it is trying to help? 

The Imposter and Belonging

Often the imposter sends us feelings of being a fraud, fear of being found out or discovered for “who we really are”.  At the heart of this is insecure belonging.  When we know we belong we feel safe to take risks.  When our belonging is insecure, we protect ourselves against risks which might lead to our exclusion from the group. Legal workplace culture which values perfectionism and all-knowing supports the imposter by creating a fear of making mistakes.

If we acknowledge the imposter as a warning that our belonging feels insecure, it points the way to two important actions. 

First, attending to our professional culture – the rules of belonging.  A little mature reflection will show us that while professionals are expected to strive for high standards and deliver consistently good work, we will all make mistakes from time to time.   That’s why we have professional insurance. Belonging is not contingent upon perfectionism.  If it were, no one could ever belong. Creating safer work culture dials down the imposter.

Secondly, attending to our professional position. We got to where we are by satisfying the criteria for entry into the profession, and by impressing the gatekeepers sufficiently to allow us in.  We’re engaged in our work because our client has chosen us. For as long we work, we belong.  

The imposter and our process

For many the imposter appears at the same place and same time in our work cycle, telling us each time that “I can’t”, even though we’ve performed the same task many times before.  The imposter grips many lawyers and others in performative roles each time they’re faced with the same impending task: the court case, the negotiation, the presentation.   If this applies to you, ask yourself:

what is the imposter voice is asking me to change to make work feel easier? 

For many years my imposter would always say “I can’t” whenever I prepared a case: “I can’t understand this evidence”, “I can’t think of the right questions to ask”, “I can’t get this done on time”.  Eventually I realised that what I lacked was patience: my expectations of what I should be able to do by when did not match the reality of what I could actually do by when.  I had an image that my preparation process should be ordered, logical and linear, when in fact the way I actually work is quite different. What my imposter was telling me was, “I can’t do it like this.”

My solution was to re-frame case preparation as a creative process aimed at completion at the end but with no expectation of understanding at the beginning.  I turned the early stages of the process into a game of high-level familiarisation: a quick skim of the evidence with no purpose other than to note anything that seemed interesting; consideration of story and structure; the building of a language bank; and feeling into what points might have juice or be fun.  I don’t think about the detail until the big picture is formed, and then with the security of knowing I’ve made some progress I’ll move forward to more focused work.  Easing into things this way, without particular expectations at the start, helps me grow into the work.  I can do it like this.

So if your imposter has a repeat pattern of some kind, try re-visiting your work process. Re-design it in a way that better supports the way you actually work.

The imposter and trauma

Many people report that the imposter causes pangs of self-doubt that are so strong that they become mentally and emotionally overwhelmed by anxiety, and physically unwell.  Intense feelings and reactions of this kind are often linked to earlier trauma, particularly childhood trauma. For example, someone physically abused or neglected growing up may live with feelings of inadequacy and have a deep need to control their surroundings to feel safe.  Faced with difficult work challenges, the sense of lost control and fear of failure may trigger their historic trauma response which to the casual observer seems inexplicably out of proportion.  Here the imposter is really telling us to seek support to resolve or alleviate our trauma, something which is eminently achievable with a good trauma therapist. 

Another helpful way of alleviating these kinds of symptoms is to speak to trusted and supportive colleagues or friends.

Verbalising feelings and re-grounding ourselves in the facts of past achievements help us re-engage in reality and reduce the distorting effect which trauma has.

Professionally facilitated peer support groups or Balint-style reflective groups can provide a more structured setting for this kind of help.

 So next time your imposter speaks up, rather than turning away or fighting back, try listening instead. Ask: “What is this trying to tell me? What needs attending to? What am I missing?”  See the imposter as a guide leading you to the answers that you need.  Every problem is a solution in the making.